do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
