too bad you live with your parents still
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
