My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Someone came in the potted fern
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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