Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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