i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
