nut hugger
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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