I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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