your room smells of hookers.
And success
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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