when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
