I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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