I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize