I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
