she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
