The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
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