I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
