you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
