I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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