Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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