U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Let's get the cat blown out
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
