i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
