So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
