Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
