his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
