Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
