First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize