11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
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