What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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