i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
