also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
