Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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