I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize