I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
