sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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