if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
