I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
