Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
