At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
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