I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.â€
Randomize
