in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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