I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
