I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I still have a little drunk in my system
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
