You made eat vitamins until I threw up
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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