she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
