the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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