he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
