Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
