Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize