I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You need Xanax blowdarts
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
