My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
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From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
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How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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