Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
