This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
