So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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