Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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