Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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