I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
